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About Digital Art / Professional Premium Member Bianca21/Female/United States Groups :icona-monster-in-paris: A-Monster-in-Paris
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Desperate times calls for desperate measures...

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 2, 2014, 12:20 AM

Alright so...

I’m not being kicked out exactly, but I definitely cannot continue to stay here with my mom much longer. I’ve been wanting to go about it all the smartest way I can and not jump the gun with moving out, but I’ve been putting up with this garbage with my family (mostly my mom) for too long and I physically, mentally, and emotionally cannot stand it anymore.

I have to stay in Southern California to still have my doctors and dentist appointments I still need to do this summer before heading back to Colorado to be with Zuka again (I left suddenly before last Christmas Eve b/c of this same problem and stayed there in Colorado with Zuka and her folks for 5 months but I had been sick and was getting worse and had to go back home to my primary doctor, but also still needed my stuff to fully move out. I can’t just leave on a whim again this time like that).

I’m still trying to figure things out and I’m so stressed and anxious for the future and I don’t know what to do but I don’t want to have to be tied down to my mom anymore. I don’t want her to have that advantage over me anymore even though I can’t fully support myself yet. I need to be settled in before I can get an actual steady income somewhere. I’ve been doing freelance and commissions (which I’m still trying to keep up but being around my family like this makes it hard to get any work done at all, plus I need to be packing). I just can’t keep up with this anymore and I’ve been doing all I can on my own to try and keep my head over water but I feel like I’m drowning and I’m finally calling out for help.

I currently don’t have a car or even a permit or know how to drive (and don’t know if I physically can because of my how my OCD causes bad twitching)…. I feel pretty helpless in everything and I just… I don’t know what else to say or do at this point honestly…

I hope to get away from here and reuinted with Zuka as soon as possible so we can continue working on our stories and projects but also just be happy again in general… And Zuka says that she’ll help with the money but her own family has issues to take care of too… In the meantime may need to stay somewhere else aside from home before I can do that. Jumping to another state is a big move and I may not be able to do that right away but I can’t really stay here either. It’s a really difficult situation.

I’ve been trying to save with my commissions previously so that I can move out, but it’s been a very slow process and it hasn’t been enough. All the money has been going to my savings.

My goal was to reach $4,000 at the very least (and I was a few hundreds away so far) to have at least some support moving out if need be for a few months, but any more would be greatly appreciated. There’s just so many finances and crap that can come up you never know what a secure set amount is…

Any help at all would be greatly appreciated, guys.

I’m raising a flag up for help but I’m not giving up yet.

You can donate on my main blog here.


Bonka-chan's Profile Picture
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
United States
Current Residence: the middle of nowhere
Favourite genre of music: Almost any
Wallpaper of choice: Paperman
Skin of choice: Mine
Favourite cartoon character: George, Hiccup, Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner, Finn the Human, Flynn Rider, Francoeur, Wheatley
Personal Quote: "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore..."

My tumblr


I'm here more often than here these days and that's usually where I post when I'm streaming.

I just wanted to get rid of my super old poll. 

735 deviants said Okay that's cool.


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DISIGNmanga Featured By Owner 9 hours ago  Student Traditional Artist
Happy birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >< SORRY I'M LATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Happy Belated Birthday :D
NightsWarriors Featured By Owner Edited 19 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday, Bianca!!
Hope you have a totes amazing bday!!
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happy DA B-day :3 Happy Birthday Bianca! cake love I hope all of your dreams and wishes come true! Cake :happy birthday: :carnivorouscake: 
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Happy Birthday!! :cake:
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¡¡Happy birthday :iconcelebration1plz::iconcelebration2plz:!!
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...happy birthday to you miss...=3
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Happy Birthday!!! :D
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Happy Birthday!
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Happy Birthday >u<
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Happy Birthday you glorious artist you!!!!!! xD
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Happy Birthday! :D
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Happy Birthday! I hope that your day is outstanding and that your birthday wish comes true. :icondragonnod1: :cake: :party: :cake:
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:la: Happy Birthday! :hug:
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It's your birthday?? Ah man, I wish I had something to give!
Well, Happy Birthday, and I hope things are going well!
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Happy Birthday! :3
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happy birthday
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